Reflection: Part 2

I thought that this project is definitely a good way to improve our leadership skills.  From my experience, it is very hard trying to be somebody’s mentor whom you have no clue about and have little or nothing in common.  As a mentor, I was always trying to maintain contact with Cami and I made sure that she knew that she could approach me for help either in one of her classes, in the major, or in life.  I learned that as a leader, I am enthusiastic, trustworthy, confidant, and committed to excellence.  One thing that I have to improve is on always keeping my goals and end results in mind.  There were many times throughout the semester where I found myself straying away from my goals for this project and seeing Cami as a friend rather than a mentee.  I stayed in contact with her throughout the semester through e-mails, text, and Facebook, but I think that a few more face-to-face meetings would have created a much stronger relationship.

Being a mentor of someone who is just about your age is somewhat difficult.  Sometimes having one or two additional years of experience in college and life does not necessarily mean that a mentor is more prepared than its mentee.  I think that it is also a temptation to form a friendship rather than a mentor/mentee relationship.  When I was a counselor for my community’s youth group, I remember that the leader of my section was exactly the same age as me.  We rarely used to ask him for help or advice on anything because even though he was our mentor and leader, at the end of the day, he had the same experience and knowledge as we did. It was extremely difficult for him to lead a group of counselors who were the same age as him because they saw him as their equal. Thankfully, this situation did not occur with Cami and me.  Every time we met she asked me about my experience and what steps to take in order to have a successful educational experience.  

Reflection: Part 1

The Six communication rules that we learned in class helped build my friendship with Cami.  The first rule is to not be rude or condescending. This rule was especially helpful for out first meeting.  I wanted to give the right impression to Cami so I made sure that my tone of voice and personal appearance was in sink.  Even though this time I am the mentor, I did not want Cami to think that I feel better, more knowledgeable, or smarter than her just because I am the mentor and she is the mentee.  The second rule is to be visible.  I accomplished this by exchanging all contact information and adding her on Facebook.  That way, she had many ways to reach me just in case she needed anything.  I also stayed in contact with her throughout the semester so she knows that I am willing to help her with anything.  The third rule is to ask and not to tell.  Whenever we were trying to set a meeting, I always asked her before to she if she wanted to and if she had time.  The fourth rule is to never humiliate your mentee, especially in front of others.  This way of thinking has been instilled upon me since I was young and I made sure that Cami did not feel neither threatened nor humiliated by me.  The fifth rule is to question before assuming.  If for some reason it took Cami a few days to get back to me, I did not directly assume that she was avoiding me.  Instead, I thought that she might be busy with work and other projects.  It is very important to look at the whole perspective before putting on blames for people’s actions. Last but not least, is to stay positive.  I hope that I successfully transmitted my positive attitude and enthusiasm towards this program and especially this project to Cami.  I hope that I gave her a good insight as to what to expect from this wonderful program at SDSU.

STEP 5: Celebrating Succes!

-I am confident that my friendship with Cami will not dissolve.  I will always be open to give Cami advice either with school, classes, or life.  I will deffinetly keep in touch with her over the summer and especially during fall semester to see if she needs any help with projects. 

-One of Cami’s goals for this summer was to find a hospitality related job.  I was thrilled when she told me about her internship this summer at Loew’s Resort in Coronado. I was very happy for her.  I am sure that with her skills and passion, she will embrace this opportunity and use it to develop her knowledge and experience she has in this industry.

E-mail I received from Cami:

Hey girl!

Just wanted to let you know that I finished the 4theFam stimulation last Tuesday. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, the family didn't do anything too crazy, which was nice. I have my meeting with Mark on Tuesday and that will be the last on HTM 301! Yay! Thanks for all your help this semester with all the advice that you gave it, it really helped!

I'm just working a lot this summer. I don't know if I told you or not but I got an internship at Loew's Resort in Coronado so I will be working there this summer and I plan on taking some classes at State this summer as well. What are your plans for summer?

-Cami

STEP 4: Coaching

One of the main areas where I was able to help Cami out the most was with her HTM 301 assignments.  I gave her advice on how to succeed in both of her simulations; ConquestAir and 4TheFam.  I explained to her what to expect and told her some of the things that I would do differently if I had to do those projects all over again.  For example, I told her that for the 4TheFam simulation it is very important to assign each group member to be responsible and keep an eye out for each family member because you never know what crazy thing they might do next.  Another advice I gave her was to keep the food very simple since it is a major distraction.  In my case, some family members did not event participate in the activities we had planned because they were busy eating.  I was very glad when Cami sent me an e-mail saying that both her simulations went great!

STEP 3: Second Meeting

Today was my second meeting with Cami. It was definitely better talking to her in person rather than through e-mails. We both gave each other a quick update of our past month and talked about the future.  Since Cami had not found a professional association event to attend for her getting involved requirement for her class, I assigned myself the homework of helping her find one.  I also offered to go with her as a sidekick! We also talked briefly about the kaleidoscope competencies and how they help you determine your strengths and weaknesses.  In order to continue building trust, I shared with her what I think are my personal strong and weak points.  We also talked about her upcoming 4TheFam simuation and I told her that I would prepare a list of recommendations that will help her group succeed in this assignment.  

STEP 2: Building Relationships

The very first step in building relationships is creating trust. In order to do that, I applied one of the methods that Robin Williams used with Mat Damon in the movie Good Will Hunting.  I shared with her stories from my personal past in order to open up and let her know that I trust her so she can trust me back.  I have learned over the years that trust is reciprocal; it is not a one-way street.  Another important element of building relationships is consistency; both in your behavior and frequency of reaching out to your mentee.  These two base elements have helped me create a storng begining with Cami.

STEP 1: First Meeting - Creating a Shared Vision

Today was my first meeting with Cami.  It was very nice to finally put a face to the name. Before meeting Cami, I made sure not to commit some typical mentoring mistakes we learned in class; acting like somebody you are not, constantly talk about myself, and most importantly, not being genuine.  I decided to start the conversation by first introducing myself and sharing with her a little bit about my background. She then told me all about herself.  In short, Cami is from Portland, Oregon and she is in her second semester of Hospitality and Tourism Management.  She is a part time student at SDSU since she is still taking some classes at Grossmont College.  She is currently working as a sales associate at Express in Fashion Valley.  This experience has helped develop and strengthen her interpersonal communication skills and has helped her learn how to provide satisfactory customer experience.  We then talked about the classes that I am currently taking and the ones that she is taking.  I gave her some tips as to which classes I think she should take next semester and I recommended a few professors I personally like.  I asked her what her career goals where and I was pretty impressed that she had her mind set on either being a caterer or opening her own cafe shop.  One year ago, when I was in her shoes, I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my life.  Her current goal is to find a hospitality related job in order to start getting to know the language and feel the exciting energy of this industry.  I really enjoyed meeting Cami and I feel like we are going to get along just fine.  One thing I really tried to stress to Cami is that if she needs help with anything, she can come to me and I will gladly to my best to help her or answer any questions she might have on a specific project or class.  Our collective vision for this project was for both of us to gain the most out of this experience.  Our goal was for both of us to learn from each other.

Getting Started...

Today we got the list of the mentor pairings.  My mentee is Canilia Tran.  At first I was hoping to get someone I know so things wont be so awkward, but then, the thought of building a new relationship with a complete stranger was very exciting.  I had never seen or heard anything about Canilia.  I am also afraid that she might have more experience in the hospitality field or be more involved in the program than me.  If that is the case, I have no idea how useful I can be to her as a mentor.  After clearing this thought out of my mind,  I sent her an e-mail that day to say hello and introduce little bit about myself.  I also gave her my availability so we can set up a time to meet each other.  She texted me back the next day with her school schedule.  I then called her and we set up a meeting for February 15 at the wooden tables near the Love Library.


My personal goals for this project are:

1. Meet with Cami at least twice throughout the semester.
2. Stay in contact with her through e-mails, text, and Facebook.
3. By the end of the semester, develop a relationship with Cami in order to keep mentoring her and giving her advice on her questions and concerns.

Mentoring Plan:

The first step is to get in touch with Cami in order to set a date where we can meet each other. My plan is to meet with Cami at least two times during the semester.  Then, I plan on staying in contact with her so our mentor/mentee relationship will strengthen.  I hope that by the end of the semester I will be able to help Cami or give her advice on a certain matter.